Carved out of Tragedy.

I seem to be back in working order.

It's my birthday today. I am 24 again.

Dear Chritsy,
Thank you very very much for our birthday presents. We both love them very much. We took photos with them on, both of us, but alas Jay has lost her camera cord somewhere so we will have to wait until Amy gets back with her's to show them to you. I love you, and thank you.

Oh, and thank you for my Howl back. :smirk: I have missed him dearly. Heeh.


Adrian.

I had forgotten about this place. I almost forgot my password. And log in name.

I just finished watching a movie with the Herd. I love your work. Very good movie. I recommend it. We all enjoyed it. Even though the little one fell asleep early on, and now Jay is passed out in my bed. Hmm.

:looks over at them:

Funny how love can be blind sometimes. Funny how love can be..invisible.

Adrian.

Where are you? And why are you gone?

Jay changed my layout.

Jay just made us the weirdest lunch I have ever seen. Granted, Jay makes strange food all the time. But this..this is so American to me I just had to document it.

What I am sitting here eating at the moment is a plate with a main dish and a side item.

The side item being sliced can carrots in butter with salt and pepper, properly cooked in the microwave for about a minute.

And the main dish being this: mac and cheese with sliced hot dog pieces, a touch of alfredo sauce, and a light drizzle of ketchup on top in the shape of a happy face.

And to drink?

Iced nonfat milk of course.

I don't know whether to be grossed out at the food, or grossed out because it actually tastes rather good.

I feel I have become truly American now. I am now a southern poor person. Not yet Walmart white trash...but I'm getting there..

Oh. And please note that we cooked more that we intended to eat. So naturally for dinner we will have the left overs..straight out of the fridge. :)

I made a new icon. I don't know why. But that is all.

I keep waiting for the thing I know that will not happen, to happen. I lie awake at night thinking about it. Thinking about what I would do. This is the main cause of my insanity. This is the main cause of my depression and loathing of life. This is what I scream about in the middle of the night, causing myself to awake. This..not knowing. This strange ability I have to forget, and not forget, everything, and nothing, that happens to me. And the people I love.

There are others who take well care of me. There are others who would like to take that care of me as well, and will never. There are others who could care less, and are the ones I am hung up on in life & love..

230 dollars of worth to me. Must be returned tomorrow. Because I am broke. But worth. Worth is always needed. And had. But never a mutual experience, it seems. Hmmh.

I love you.

Adrian.

I am unsure if I will be posting anymore in this journal. There is not enough for me to say to try and keep it up as well as I had before in the past. I doubt I will be missed that much, unless by a select few.

You are in my thoughts.
Adrian.

I am alone with Jay for Christmas. Everyone else is leaving to go visit family for the season. But she is broke and I have no family, other than the ones who are with their's.

I hope everyone's season is going well. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone.

Adrian.

I read over things and sigh.

There is nothing wrong. This is just how I am.

Things are going well here. I have found a job at Starbucks. Jay and I work together so far, but I am unsure if they will be transferring one of us to another store after our rehire training. Hmmh. I hope not. I'd love to stay with here in this store. It will be much fun and love.

We are decorating for the holidays at the moment. Jay has been going crazy and putting stuff everywhere, and making me help her of course. Heeh. It's funny. Never did I think I would be standing around at Amy's, sweating in socks and boxers, trying to put up a plastic white Christmas tree outside..and getting a tan at the same time. Heeh.

Hmmh. I think I will make a new icon of myself.

i1523.

Jay made me take this.

:sigh:

Long nights out. No sleep for hours. Being dead all day.

These are the things my life is about at the moment, it seems.

I'm getting a job at Starbucks with J. Which is wonderful. Amy may be getting a job at a book store. Which will be awesome on my pocket in terms of books, manga and such.

:sighs:

I'm so tired. But I do this to myself. So I take responsibility for it all.

Maybe I will go back out tonight again. They having singing at a bar down the road. And J enjoys it very much. I will go and keep her company probably.

Until next time.
Adri.

I'm drunk again. I think I have a problem.

Life down here has been interesting to say the least. Things have been changing a lot. For me and for everyone else around me.

Christy. I have started making Corgan's present. I will mail it in the next few days hopefuly. I hope it get's there on time. It probably will.

Much love.

Things have been strange around here. We have been having long nights of drinking and talking. I met this guy while down here. He is very strange. But I enjoy him. I think he may have a little something for me. But that will remain one-sided.

:yawns and stretches:

I've been unpacking and moving stuff around for the last couple of days. Lots of things to do. Hmmh.

Hope everyone is doing well.

I am alive.

And having a great time.

Much love.
Adrian.

New icon.

Believe me when I say. If anyone ever lays a hand on the people I love, they will regret it with their life. You have my word on that.

i1523.